Your first words
“Good communication is the foundation of a healthy relationship”
“Good communication skills will get you far in your career”
With these widely accepted statements, the experts reel you in, opening up a trillion dollar treasure chest for themselves.
They build extensive coaching programs, write self-help books that top the best-sellers list, organize multi-day training events, online courses that put you in a funnel for more online courses, and every single method that they can think of to teach people how to communicate better.
“If you’re feeling defensive, don’t fold your arms, open them. But don’t open them too much, keep them at a 38.7 degree angle and smile while you’re making eye contact with your feet pointed towards the person to signal interest.”
Isn’t it fascinating?
“If you want to give feedback, start with this, and then do that, but don’t do too much of that because it isn’t good to do that too much.”
Did those articles make all their readers great communicators?
The most hilarious oxymoron is “authentic communication trainings”.
In order to be more authentic, you have to learn authenticity from someone else?
When you’re alone, do you need someone to teach you authenticity in watching TV?
Do you read books on how to eat food with authenticity?
Or to drink water?
Or wash your face?
Or do you just do those things naturally?
The truth is: You need training only for being inauthentic. To be more acceptable in society.
It’s comical how society first teaches you how to be inauthentic with extensive schooling, mandatory readings, essay-writing, application-writing, corporate communication guidelines, social media posting tips and tricks, and all the templates to abide by. And when you’re a trained monkey, you have to pay a coach thousands of dollars to teach you to learn authenticity in communication, and go to therapy to be more honest and open in your relationships.
Polished words and modified behaviors don’t make you a great communicator.
Genuineness and sincerity do.
When you realize how much abuse you have received from society to modify your words and your behaviors, you’ll begin to get rid of the words that have been put in your mind by others.
Once you get rid of them, you’ll realize that all you are left with is silence…
And then you just might try to say something, and hear something beautiful.
Because they will be truly your first words.
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